Tuesday, April 9, 2013

What do men really want?

   Not even knowing who you are as you read this, I'm absolutely convinced that when you read the title of this blog, 90% of you responded with the same one-word answer. I'm not going to give your answer away, but I will say this: It's a three-letter word, it starts with an "s," and ends with an "ex."

   Am I close?

   There seems to be a widely held belief that all men want out of a relationship is sex, and if a woman who's in a relationship with a man is able to keep him happy in that area, he will do whatever it takes to keep that relationship strong.
  
   But is that really true? I believe that the evidence screams out an emphatic NO!! In fact, we can all recall countless examples of men who were in relationships where that was the case, and who eventually grew tired of the relationship and looked elsewhere for what they already had at home.

   So, what is the real issue here? What is it that men really want?

   If you're a man, I would ask you to choose from one of the two options below. If you could choose only one, would you rather experience:

1. Having every woman you meet become sexually attracted to you immediately upon meeting you.

Or:

2. Having everyone you meet immediately respect you, your accomplishments, your abilities, and who you are as a person.

   Ladies, as surprised as you might be by the answer, I can almost guarantee that the vast majority of men who read those choices picked option 2. How do I know this? Because I know that what men want more than anything is to be respected by those around them. They want to be respected by their wives, their friends, their families, their co-workers, and by anyone else they may come into contact with. In fact, their inner desire to feel that respect will cause them to give up nearly anything else to gain it.

   While the best way for men to be seen as respectable would be to consistently carry themselves in a respectable manner, what's ironic is that many men want that respect so badly they will often times resort to less than respectable means to either gain it or maintain it. In some cases, they will even lie, cheat and steal if necessary. They will take risks which - if they fail to work out the way they'd hoped - will lead to their losing whatever respect they've already acquired.

   In my effort to show how relevant the bible remains - even in these days, when many believe it's old and out dated - I offer the following verse, directed toward women in relation to how they should treat their husbands:

"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33

   What I find very interesting here is that the advice given to men and women in regard to relationships is very different. Men are encouraged to "love their wives," and women are encouraged to "respect their husbands." Why do you think this is? The answer is an obvious one. Women don't need to be encouraged to love. They have wired within them an uncanny ability to love their families unconditionally. Most men, on the other hand, don't. But respect is an entirely different issue. You can respect someone without loving them, but it's nearly impossible to love someone without respecting them first.
  
   So, what does it mean to "respect" as the bible teaches. Does it mean to be a doormat? Does it mean you should be silent, never offering your thoughts or opinions? Does it mean that a woman should put up with various forms of abuse? Absolutely not. In Genesis 2:18, we read:

"The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

   What good will it do any man to have a helper whom he has silenced? How useful is a helper who isn't allowed to share their thoughts, concerns, ideas, and opinions? Any man who treats his wife in this way is a fool for having done so. For a helper to be of any use whatsoever, there has to first be a mutual respect between the two. If a man feels that he is respected by his wife, her influence in his life will be unmistakable, and he will become a better man for it. If he acts in ways that harm her ability to respect him, then he needs to be corrected. If that correction comes in a loving way that shows him respect, and he feels that love and respect at the core of his soul, there is no limit to what he can accomplish as a man.
   

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