I'm about to step into an area that many people in the Christian community will avoid discussing at all costs. That's a real shame, because it's an absolutely crucial topic when it comes to our overall happiness in life. I am in no way a prude when it comes to these things, and I will be very open, honest, and blunt when discussing them. If you're honest with yourself, you will find a great deal of truth to what I'm about to say.
I'm fairly convinced that upon reading the title of this post, your curiosity was piqued. I mean, let's be honest here........Very few people on this planet don't enjoy sex, and most of us would agree that no matter how good that side of our relationships are, we'd eagerly listen to anyone who might be able to offer suggestions on how we can make it better.
Before we get rolling here, I need to ask all of you a simple question. Can you think back to a sexual experience at some point in your life that you regret having? Unless you remained celibate until marriage, or you're still waiting for that perfect mate to go there with, you answered "yes." If you're like most of the people who grew up in the 60's, 70's, 80's, or 90's, I'm positive that you will not only have answered "yes," but you also immediately cringed upon reading it. The memories you have of that situation are just as alive as they were within days of realizing you had made a mistake in that regard.
There are many reasons why people regret having gone there with someone in their past. Countless reasons. And they're all different for each of us. But the regrets remain, and sometimes the memories are extremely painful.
I was a teenager in the 70's, and this is what we were taught by society around us: "If it feels good, do it." This mindset began in the 60's, and for all intents and purposes, it has not only continued to this day, but it has also expanded to include pretty much any sexual experience one can imagine.
On the other side of the coin, what was the best experience you've ever had sexually? Funny, but you remembered that one immediately too, didn't you?
What was the major difference between these two experiences?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and make an assumption. The major difference between the two was this: The level of mutual love you felt between yourself and the other person, the level of importance you were given in the life of that person, and the level of openness that was allowed between each other during that experience. Am I wrong? I think not. During the positive sexual experienced, you felt special. You felt loved. You felt a sense of closeness far beyond the experience itself. During the bad experience, or shortly thereafter, you felt ordinary, unnecessary, or possibly even used.
How would this make you feel?: You find someone whom you're very attracted to. In time, your love grows more and more for each other. You learn everything there is to know about who they are as a person, and you love all of it. You see how they carry themselves in countless situations, and find yourself being more impressed with who they are as a person every time you're around them. Finally, the moment comes when you are able to come together with them sexually, and just before going there, they look you in the eyes and say "I've waited all of my life for you........and I've waited all of my life for this very moment."
And what if..........what if.........just before going there........the two of you can openly pray to the Creator of all things, thanking Him for this beautiful gift you are about to experience, and asking Him to bless both of you in it?
Did you just get chills? Does that sound impossibly beautiful to you?
This, my friends, is what the bible teaches about how we are to approach sex. It is a gift from God Himself, and it was made to be beautiful, to be intimate, and to be blessed by God Himself within the boundaries of marriage.
God does not tell us to avoid having sex until marriage because He doesn't want us to have any fun. He wants us to wait because if we do, it will be the most beautiful experience we can possibly imagine. And if we don't wait.........we will have regrets.
So, how does that help us now - those of us who haven't waited? The answer is simple. We can start waiting now. Maybe we won't be able to tell that special someone that we've waited all of our lives for them. But we can tell them that we waited for however long it takes between now and then.
So, what about those of you who are already married? How can it be better for you? Pray about it. Ask God to bless that side of your relationship. Openly express to each other the love that you feel for each other while going there. If you're not doing that now, why not?
The relationship between a husband and wife is a very special, beautiful gift. Why would we ever settle for anything less than that, and why would we teach our children to settle for less by assuming that they can't wait........or worse yet, by telling them that they shouldn't have to?
Don't believe this is possible? Ask couples who have waited. There are plenty of them out there. If you do, there's one word you won't hear them mention. That word is regret.
No comments:
Post a Comment