A dog's life

    Imagine, if you will, that your neighbor disappears without any notice. Being concerned, you enter his home to look around. Once inside, you find his dog cowering under the dining room table. This doesn't surpirse you, because you've seen how your neighbor has treated his dog over the past several years. There was no real love for the animal as far as you could see. Maybe he threw it a bone every now and then just to keep it loyal. Maybe he'd take it to the vet if it was very ill, but you never noticed what you would describe as genuine care, love, concern and affection. There may have even been times when you saw this, but had a gut feeling that it was all for show.
   Over the years, you had a feeling that he had abused his dog. Maybe you were certain of it. Maybe you thought about calling someone to report this abuse, but you didn't want to get involved. After all, you kinda got along with your neighbor, and you weren't really sure how bad things were for the dog. Besides, you didn't really want to cause problems for him.
   As you gather inside the home with other neighbors, the stories begin to come out about just how bad the abuse was. You hear about how the dog was forced to stay under the table at all times. If it came out, it would be beaten. You hear that the only food the dog ate was the scraps that fell from the table. If the dog ever attempted to get to where the real food was, it would again be beaten. This had apparently gone on for many years.
   As you hear these things, you look over at this poor animal. It refuses to come out from under the table. It's eyes are downcast. It's shaking. It's ears are hanging low, and it's tail is between it's legs. It's terrified.
   You walk over to it and take a knee beside it, trying to coax it out from under the table. But it refuses to come out. It instead backs into a corner. What would you feel in your heart as you witnessed this? What would you do? Would you reach under the table, grab it by it's neck, and drag it out? Would you scream at it in frustration? Would you wonder what the dog had done to deserve this kind of treatment? Would you write the dog off, thinking to yourself that it brought this treatment upon itself for not running away when it had the chance?
   I think it's safe to say that none of us would do any of that. I think we'd feel sincere compassion for it. I think most of us would probably sit a safe distance from the table, maybe with a few treats in our hand, and gently coax it out from under the table. If it did come out, we would probably begin to pet it, letting it know that it's safe and loved. But we would wait until the dog was ready to come out. Am I right?
   If this is true, then I need to ask all of you a question. Why is it that we would treat a dog better than we would treat a woman who has spent years in an abusive relationship?
   You see, much like this poor dog, a woman who has spent many years being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused is kept within that relationship for one reason alone.......... Fear...........And as I've said before, the type of abuse means nothing. Abuse is abuse, and the psychological effects on the abused are the same, no matter the type of abuse involved.
   "Oh, wait a minute" you might say. "You're comparing apples to oranges here. A woman can think things through. She can see that there are other options. She can go for help." That's very true. But being able to think things through and consider other options can also lead to even more fear. A dog can know it doesn't like being abused, and run for safety without having to consider where it will live, how it will feed itself, what will happen to it's children, it's family, it's reputation, etc..
   When you hear of a woman who's being abused in any of these ways, don't allow the first question to be "Why does she stay?" or "Why did she even get into that relationship?" Make your first question "Why do men abuse the women who love them, and how can we put an end to it." Then come alongside her, love her, comfort her, be patient with her, and make sure that she knows that she is exceptionally valuable, and did nothing to deserve to be treated this way.
   Abusive relationships rarely begin that way. If they did, there would be far less abusive relationships. They usually begin with a man doting over his woman, taking care of her in every way, making her feel like the center of his universe. Saying that it's her own fault for staying in that relationship once it gradually becomes more and more abusive only solidifies what her abuser has been telling her for years.............that she deserves the abuse.