Today I'll be celebrating my 49th birthday. This is a very special birthday for me, but not for the reasons you might think. Sure, it will be the last birthday I'll experience still being in my 40's. There comes along with that all of the usual worries and concerns we face when we realize that the road ahead of us is far shorter than the one we've left behind. I'm in no way immune to those thoughts. But this is a significant birthday for me for another reason, and one which is quite profound for me.
You see, about 6 or 7 months after celebrating his 49th birthday, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. By the time he was diagnosed, it had spread through his body to the point where there was no hope of survival. He passed away shortly after his 50th birthday.
I was just 22 at the time. For some reason, in the back of my mind, I believed from that point forward that I would probably meet the same fate. After all, genetics are genetics. In my young mind, that seemed like it was a very long way off. Not so much anymore.
What my father missed is extraordinarily significant. Since he passed away, I've raised two children who I'm exceptionally proud of. I now have two grandchildren who I love dearly. He never met any of them. While that hurts to think about, this is not a sad story.
You see, as I sit here this morning, I see something very different about our lives, and these are differences I feel extremely blessed by. I think about what my father might have been looking forward to at this stage of his life, and I compare that to what I'm looking forward to. I think about how he lived the last few years of his life, and I look at how I have lived the last few years of mine.
Over the past 3 years, I have witnessed absolute miracles in my life. I have been blessed by God in ways I never dreamed possible in virtually every area of my life. On a personal level, the past 3-5 years have been the most difficult years I've ever experienced. But at the same time, in the midst of the storms, I have witnessed first hand the way that God can reach down into someone's life, raising them up from the trash heap, and give their lives true significance. I can see many people around me who have seen my trials and struggles, who have heard my words during these times, and who have been left with no doubt that God Himself has moved in my life.
I'm in no way comparing myself to my father and believing that I'm somehow better than he was. I'm every bit as human as he was. Just as he had his flaws and weaknesses, I also have mine. I'm more aware of those flaws and weaknesses than any of you will ever be. The single significant difference between who he was then and who I am now is this: Within all of my faults and failures, I look to Christ every day, living my life with the hope and faith that tells me that nothing is impossible. There are no dreams that are too big for God, and with every single day that passes, there comes one more day that could result in my seeing the impossible unfold before my very eyes, not because I'm anything special, but because God is with me.
It could very well be that what I believed when I was just 22 will come to pass. Maybe God will take me home just after my 50th birthday too. But if He does, I will go knowing beyond a doubt that I will spend eternity with Him. That fact, in and of itself, makes our stories polar opposites. My father's passing was a story of great sadness. It was one of watching an incredibly large, physically strong man being reduced to a mere shell of what he once was, with no hope, no faith, and incredible feelings of loss by everyone who loved him and wished that somehow he would've been able to beat his illness, turn his life around and become what we all knew he could be if he just allowed himself to.
My story will be one of how God reached down into the life of a simple man, with a multitude of faults and failures, and decided to do great things through his life, eventually leading him not to death, but to eternal life.
You see, at this point in his life, my father was preparing to die. I, on the other hand, am just beginning to live.
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